Zwinger and Zwingay were celebrating Diwali with their grandparents.

No one knew how they got these names, but that’s what they called each other. At times, even their grandparents called them Zwinger and Zwingay, but to the rest of the world they were Rahul and Ria.

Rahul, the elder one, but only by a slim margin of thirteen months, was listening to his grandfather, while Ria looked on.

“Now look, the first thing you have to do in Diwali, is to make sure everything is clean – spic and span. Lakshmi won’t come into the house if you don’t keep it clean. She hates filth,” grandfather said.

“But my cupboards are always clean,” said nine-year-old Rahul. “She doesn’t come to me, Dadu. Are you sure she visits all places that are clean?” he inquired.

“You may think your cupboards are clean, but maybe they don’t match up with her high standards,” said Dadu, knowing full well that ‘clean’ to Rahul meant he could find things within a pile.

“Everything should be sorted out neatly, as Ria does,” said Dadu.

“I don’t think that helps too much, Dadu. I think you are mistaken. Has Lakshmi ever come to you Ria?” Rahul put the question to his younger sister.

Ria wasn’t sure how to tackle the question. She didn’t want to contradict Dadu, and Rahul knew that Lakshmi had never paid her a visit.

“Maybe we need to do more things to make sure she comes to us?” she ventured.

“Oh yes, oh yes,” said Dadu, nodding in agreement. “There are many steps to follow. Lakshmi is not easy to please! There are many kinds of Lakshmi, and it all depends on which one you want to please.”

“How many kinds?’ asked the ever curious Ria.

“There is the Aadi Lakshmi, the original Laskhmi. Then there is the Dhanya Lakshmi who blesses us with the wealth of food. Vidya Lakshmi provides us with the wealth of knowledge and helps our talents grow, Gaja Lakshmi is found in every house with elephants helping her in doing puja as she sits on a lotus flower. Santhana Lakshmi provides us with the wealth of children. Dhairya Lakshmi provides us with courage, fearlessness and the wealth of patience. Vijaya Lakshmi provides us with victory and finally there is Dhana Lakshmi, the giver of money because without money, little is accomplished.”

“That’s the one we need Dadu!” said Rahul. He had made plans to spend the money if Lakshmi paid him a visit, though he didn’t want to work too hard for it.

“Well, you have to make sure the house is well lit and properly decorated. Only then will Lakshmi be attracted,” Dadu informed them.

“That’s because Diwali is on a night when there is no moon, oho Dadu, what does one call it?” asked Ria.

“That’s very good Ria. It’s called Amavasya. Rahul, you should spend more time with books, instead of watching TV all the time, then you’ll know these things too,” Dadu said to Rahul.

“Zwingay! Stop being a show-off. I’ll kill you,” said Rahul to his younger sister. Rahul was also called TV-Boy, owing to his superhuman ability to watch TV endlessly. The joke was that if robbers came into the house, TV-Boy would immobilise them by telling them mind-numbing stories from cartoon serials.

“Now, no fighting on Diwali,” said Dadu. “Do you want Lakshmi to pay you a visit or not?”

“Yes Dadu, but she is always showing off!” complained Rahul.

“Never mind, if you had known these things, you could show off too,” Dadu said. Then knowing Rahul’s penchant for cars and aeroplanes he said, “We must make sure things are lit properly so she can identify where to land.”

“You mean we have to prepare lights like an airport?” Rahul was excited. “Why didn’t you say so? I’ll put the lamps Dadu! Zwingay can do something else.”

Rahul learned how to wet the clay diyas so that the oil wouldn’t be soaked up by them. He spent the next hour preparing the wicks from cotton, rolling them in his tiny hands and placing them carefully in the diyas. He insisted that he put the oil in the diyas too and by the time he was through, he had managed to give himself an oil bath.

Ria helped her grandmother with the rangoli. She was given the task of making Lakshmi’s feet with rice paste while her grandmother made the more complicated designs. Ria was careful to give all the tiny feet five tiny toes, counting them meticulously as she made the dots.

“What’s this?” asked Rahul when he saw her making the feet.

“These are Lakshmijis’ feet. Go away, or I’ll complain to Dadu,” said Ria.

“What? Lakshmiji is a baby or what? Why have you made such tiny feet? You’ll spoil everything. I’ll kill you if Lakshmiji doesn’t turn up. I’ve spent a lot of time getting the landing lights right,” said Rahul.

“Go away Zwinger, don’t make me mad,” Ria growled.

“And why are you making her feet together? Does she hop like a kangaroo with both her feet together, boing, boing, boing. I’m Lakshmi, here I come, boing, boing, boing,” he said as he hopped from room to room.

By the evening the lights were ready, the rangoli was done, the flowers and the mango leaves had been hung on doorways and the sweets had been laid out. Rahul and Ria examined everything. Then Rahul noticed that a crucial ingredient was missing.

“Dadu!! But where are the firecrackers?!” he yelled.

Dadu was sitting with a sheet of paper, on which he was writing with a matchstick dipped in rangoli. Rahul and Ria forgot what they had come for.

“What’s this?” Rahul asked.

“I’m writing the words ‘Om Shree Lakshmi Sada Sahaya’,” said Dadu.

“What does that mean?” asked Ria.

“It means, may Lakshmiji always provide us. You can’t do anything without Lakshmiji,” he said seriously. “After I have written this, we’ll stick it on the wall in the puja room,” he said.

“Oh,” said Ria.

“But this won’t do, Dadu,” reprimanded Rahul, examining Dadu’s handiwork, as he leaned on the table, one hand on its edge and the other scratching his back. “Lakshmiji won’t like this at all. You have to use fresh paper. Clean paper, not this one. See, it has things written on the other side!”

“Well, I was only recycling paper,” Dadu said.

“No, no. We can’t afford to annoy Laskshmiji. You have to be more careful, Dadu. Now do it on a clean paper,” insisted Rahul. For once, Ria agreed with him. It would be sad if Lakshmiji didn’t show up because of one careless mistake.

Dadu had to write the mantra on a fresh piece of paper. The kids looked on to make sure Dadu got it right. Obviously, he was apt to make careless mistakes himself.

Then, remembering what they had come for, Rahul asked, “Where are the firecrackers Dadu?”

Dadu had been preparing himself for this eventuality. Crackers were too expensive and his pension was meagre. “Haven’t you been taught in school? They cause a lot of pollution and scare animals. What if Lakshmiji’s Owl gets scared?” Dadu offered his carefully prepared argument.

The evening was near and Rahul realised all his effort could come to naught. He ran into the next room and threw himself on the bed, crying.

“What’s happened to my Zwinger?” asked Dadi.

“Dadu says there will be no firecrackers,” explained Ria as her brother buried his sobs in the pillow.

“He is lying,” said Rahul from the depths of the pillow. “How can Lakshmiji’s owl be scared of firecrackers? It sees them every year! Besides Zwingay was saying that the loud sounds make the demons go away; she read it in a book,” he said between sobs.

Dadi’s heart melted. She gave the children twenty rupees and told them to get a few firecrackers from the market.

“This is all I have, for now,” Dadi said. “You’ll have to make do with this.”

The children managed to get one bomb each for that sum. In the evening, the children put on their new dresses, assisted by Dadu and Dadi, performed the puja and, after eating the sweets, went out to play with their friends and burst the firecrackers.

Late at night, as they prepared to sleep, Rahul and Ria went up to Dadu. Rahul fished out the two bombs from his pocket and said in a whisper, “Look Dadu, I saved these for the last. Now when everything is silent, we’ll burst these. Lakshmiji will notice instantly! Isn’t that a good plan, huh?”

“Yes, and we can write our names on the bombs with a sketch pen, Dadu. Then Laksmiji will know who is calling her. Others wouldn’t have thought of this, so we’ll have a better chance!” Ria said excitedly.

“You’re smart Zwingay,” said Rahul appreciatively. Then, hugging Dadu he said, “Come on, Dadu, let’s go on the roof and burst these. It doesn’t matter that we have only two bombs. It’s good enough. I think Ria’s plan will work.”

Dadu laughed and went to the roof with the children to burst the two crackers while Dadi stayed back.

In the morning, when the children awoke, they found that Lakshmiji had left them fifty rupees each under their pillows.